Before I went to bed, I had taken 2 of the pills from the doctor (legally, in case you read this story and think it's because I took the pills down with a bottle of wine then proceeded to drive a large motorized vehicle) because the day with walking and hopping and entertaining customers and distributor partners had finally taken a toll on me. I laid down and was uneasy and restless. Maybe somewhat nauseous.
I have taken up reading since finishing school (oh, the irony, huh?) and the latest was a love story. Not a "Romance Novel", a Love Story (there is, in fact, a large difference...). I closed the book after a half hour, shut out the light and laid there. Still restless. Deciding that I could just turn back on the light and read my book until my eyes got heavy, I completed the last 7 chapters of my book. I turned out the light in time to realize that I needed to use the restroom again. Dang. Another 12 minutes gone.
The second time I got back to bed I tuned out the light and immediately fell into a deep sleep. This is where the frightening part happens... I mean this sincerely from the bottom of my heart.
An hour after falling asleep, I woke up terrified. I won't tell you the dream because I don't want you to over-analyze why I am telling you this... Which I will clarify at the end.
Knowing that I had the surgery less than 4 days ago, understand that when I take the medicine from the doctor, it is strictly used when I need to "numb" the incisions/pain and is supposed to make me sleep better. What I woke up to was an overwhelming, moderately painful tingling in my feet, calves and knees that was so intense that I can't even describe it.
I woke up to yelling. My yelling... Nothing in particular, just sort of a terrified yelp as if I had jumped off of the tallest plateau in existance... Where if I had taken another direction, I would have been faced with stairs and safety.
I was sitting in a cold sweat that had consumed me in my allegedly "perfect 72-degree" hotel room.
I woke up to yelling. My yelling... Nothing in particular, just sort of a terrified yelp as if I had jumped off of the tallest plateau in existance... Where if I had taken another direction, I would have been faced with stairs and safety.
I was sitting in a cold sweat that had consumed me in my allegedly "perfect 72-degree" hotel room.
The first thing I could think to do was pray. I talked to God. I asked him to help me. I was in pain, I was scared, and I was at a loss for the cause.
I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that seconds after praying, the tingling sensation subsided. Not immediately, but as if a sheet was lifted. My body temperature went back to normal (not a drop of sweat in sight), and I felt at peace. Genuinely comfortable.
I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that seconds after praying, the tingling sensation subsided. Not immediately, but as if a sheet was lifted. My body temperature went back to normal (not a drop of sweat in sight), and I felt at peace. Genuinely comfortable.
So I prayed again.
I thanked God for his mercy and grace. I asked forgiveness for any and all of the sins I hadn't prayed for forgiveness for... and even the ones I had. I asked God to help me recognize my demons and help me face them head-on so I could live in a way that would please Him. I ended my prayer with seemingly simple requests... I prayed for my brother, sister, brother-in-law, mom and dad. Friends, family, colleagues, strangers. Sinners like myself... Amen.
God listens.
I am aware that I have demons. There are things I do consciously that I'm not proud of EVEN as I am doing them. I claim to be trying to "fix it", but "fix it" has simply become a phrase... not an action. I have prayed about these things, yes. I have asked God to help me, yes. But I haven't allowed Him to utilize me as a tool to help myself. A wildly simple, yet foreign concept...
I've told some of you reading this about my friends and family that have supported me in my growth in Christ, and how these people have impacted my life. My family - providing a home that shares common beliefs and challenges each other, and speaks freely about God when it's heavy on their mind. Friends from my hometown, friends from Milwaukee, and all of my travels in between. They truly have impacted my life in unbelievable and unique ways. They know who they are. YOU know who you are. I will make Sure to tell you again, even if I've told you a hundred times already.
Jesus Christ has given me direction before in so many situations, but not in a way that has been so clear as it has today. The immediacy and the urgency of His response has been a testament to just the smallest of what He's capable of.
I didn't tell you all of this in attempt to preach to you. I also didn't tell you this so we could analyze my dreams. I told you this because I feel I was asked to.... I have no other explanation.
Surround yourself with people that support your beliefs. People that challenge you... The people that you can talk to about things that make you uncomfortable or that can help you through trials and tribulations by offering prayer and fellowship... Don't solely spend time with people that drain you or put you in situations where you're unsure of your purpose. Lastly, pray.
God is listening.
God is listening.
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As said by Chef Ken, of a hotel my dad and I once stayed at:
"Live life to your fullest purpose today... You're not guaranteed the opportunity to do it tomorrow!"
Happy Friday!!
Not just another day in the life.
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