I write about dating too much.

This is me throwing in the white flag.

I have HAD it.

So the past two days went something like this.  Actually, I'm going to start with 4 days ago...

My sister and her husband came home in time to play some cards and go on a date.  We had the family together for the weekend to get some Purse shopping in.  Allow me to explain.  
OK I'm going to back up a day.  Let me start over.

Thursday night I came home from Milwaukee with two coworkers because we had our team meeting there.  We got home around 9 and I told a friend I would meet him for a glass of wine.  We met in Maple Grove, MN at around 9:27 (I was 27 minutes late... oopsie!)

The night went pretty well... we had two glasses of wine and good conversation.  The only issue that came up?  I WAS AWKWARD!  I couldn't think of anything to say.  ME of all people. Wordless.  I thought that was stinkin' impossible.  Evidently not.  So anyway I haven't really heard from him since. 

That's a lie.  We messaged back and forth on Saturday night a bit.  To be totally honest, I really think this guy is great.  But why was I awkward then??  Ugh.  So ANYWAY.

Friday night came along and (read paragraph 2)  (I meant paragraph 4).  My sisters blog goes in depth about her fantastical date here.  I admire her relationship and hope to have at least HALF of that someday.  In 100 years.  After I've become a nun.  

Anyway, I went with a friend to get dinner on Friday night.  I was going to go alone but I hadn't seen him in a while, so I messaged him the following:
Me: "Applebee's tonight - Rogers - 7pm.  See you there"
Him: "Ok."

I think he half expects this from me...

Anyway, Saturday night came along after a long day of women.  Mom had a purse party.  Being that I live at home (and will for the next 100 years), I was involved with the entertaining of guests and cooking and cleaning and beverage-serving, etc.  It wasn't so bad.
At the end of the night we watched Melissa's copy of "A Christmas Carol" (the Jim Carey cartoon version seen here.)  I love that movie.

I made it through the beginning credits.

Skip to Today... Yesterday was boring and uneventful.

Today I had a meeting at 3pm.  On the way to this meeting, I told dad I would stop in and get a part for his vacuum cleaner.  I love vacuuming.  It gives you those instant results.  What I love even more is when you hear the little rocks and other dirty little nuggets getting sucked up.  It makes me feel cleaner.  

Getting off track.  

So I went into the vacuum store carrying this large, central-vacuum, and I got in line.  The man in front of me (whom I later learned was named "Dave") said "Vacuum problems?"
To which I replied "Nah, I just decided to take it for a walk..."

We carried on a nonchalant conversation for about 35 minutes until it was his turn to get help.  To get helped.  Though it was abundantly clear that this fella needed Help.
Here's some of our conversation:

Him: "I don't think I got your name..."
Me: "I know."
Him: "Understood!"
Me: *sigh* "It's Rebecca, and yours?"
Him: "Dave" *hand shake*

Him: "What do you do?"
Me: "I sell vacuums.  Bright orange ones."
Him: "Interesting.  Then why are you in a vacuum store?"
Me: "you've reached your quota for questions..."

He got to the counter and asked the clerk "Do you have anything I can use to paint this puppy orange?" then he looked at me with a grin.  A grin I'm sure he uses no-less than frequently.

It was my turn, after he gave his phone number to the man at the counter, and I half-expected him to leave.  Silly me.  He didn't leave.

He waited until I had collected the mess of vacuum I brought in with me then followed me out to the parking lot like a new, loyal puppy.
I shoved the non-sucking vacuum into the trunk of my car and walked around to the other side.  Dave, my new puppy, was standing there with a smile.  

I had had enough Dave.

He said (with practiced ease) "Would you like to continue this conversation?"
After a minute of thought, I took out a business card, ripped off JUST the phone number, and handed it to him with a smile.  
"The rest of the information is 'need to know'."  Got in my car and drove away.  I knew that, in this situation, a "no, you cannot have my phone number" would not have been sufficient.

So I got a call from Dave about 4 minutes after my departure.  He proceeded to tell me that he had twins - a boy and a girl who were 9 years old, that he was divorced 6-years prior and that he had been with said-wife for 6 years.  I estimate that he is approximately twice my age.  And that's giving this man the benefit of the doubt.  Significant doubt.
That just screams "I don't have any baggage at ALL!"

So needless to say Dave is getting added to my "do-not-answer" list with all of the other failed opportunities.  I'm going to need a longer piece of paper for this list.

Dear MISTER RIGHT:
I'm leaving it up to God and his army to place the bug in your ear with the following message: It is high time you pull over and ask for directions.  You're driving me crazy and I haven't even met you yet.  It's hurtful and I'm impatient.

Amen.

Rebecca